Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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