and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
this boner is exhausting
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
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when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
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Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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