I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
