Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
