Me too!
he shaved USA in his pubs
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
