CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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