she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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