you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
