Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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