There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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