Small penises have feelings too.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
