kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
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He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
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He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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