I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
