she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
