Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
