I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
the day after is always just damage control
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
