love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
