If i come over, it means nothing
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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