woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize