So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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