this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
