I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I've blown a few things in my day
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
