Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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