I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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