mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
