I accidentally burped into my bong.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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