Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I think I am morally bankrupt
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
