It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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