she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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