he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
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Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
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in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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