He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
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