But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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