Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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