All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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