Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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