Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
