Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
