My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
