hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
