I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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