she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize