What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
