Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
