I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
