I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
