he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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