Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
false alarm. still invincible.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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