he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
