haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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