Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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