This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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