That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
