So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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