I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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