So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
