I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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