Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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