The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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