my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize