In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
