I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
