tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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