If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Green mimosas i think yes
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
