When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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