walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
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sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
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The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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