Whod you bang
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
