I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
