He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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