i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
