you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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